


A Father's Guilt

by panther



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Married Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-10
Updated: 2014-03-10
Packaged: 2018-01-15 07:27:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1296496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/panther/pseuds/panther
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur works hard to keep them afloat and drifts further away from his wife in the process. The jibes from Lucius Malfoy hurt so much because they are true and guilt weighs heavily on his mind every time he has to tell one of the children no because they can't afford it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Father's Guilt

**Author's Note:**

> I know Arthur and Molly are seen as the perfect couple so I found it really interesting to look at them from another point of view. Tried to make it as canon compliant as possible.

When it comes down to it they can't afford to separate so they stay together instead. Arthur works such long hours in order to try and keep them afloat that he doesn't need to spend too much time with his wife. Plus for years there was always one of the children to fill the awkward silence that has formed between them. It started with a lack of time. With so many children to run around after and so many cases to try and deal with during the war they just didn't talk as much. Arthur came in exhausted, reeling from the evils his fellow wizards were attempting on muggles by bewitching their things. At first he just doesn't want to talk about work and then he just doesn't really want to talk. Molly talks about baking cookies and teaching letters to their children and Arthur craves more adult conversation that can focus on things that are not changing nappies or deciding whose home to raid next. He retreats to his shed but never from their bedroom and somehow makes things worse. 

Arthur adores his children but he can't afford them. 

The jibes of Lucius Malfoy and his like hurt because they are true. Every pregnancy is a stretch on their finances and another time Arthur has to tell one of the others no. He always wanted children but sometimes he feels like he is suffocating. People say he should try for a job in another department to make more money but can't face the idea of being unhappy at work as well as at home. His work is what gives him the strength to go home and just not run. He loves his children, he does, but he would love every son just as much as any daughter yet still Molly pushes. It isn't direct or anything, but in the subtle way that makes Arthur feel guilty enough put the potion aside and try again. Molly wants a girl and yet still the boys come. 

When Ginny comes Arthur adores her and for a while it all seems worth it. Then Ginny gets older and she can't wear hand-me-downs anymore so Molly buys her new clothes with new toys to go with them. There are dresses, dolls and silent stares from her older brothers who try not to be jealous. They all love Ginny and yet they resent her a little bit too. Ron has rarely had a new piece of clothing to call his own and Arthur worries about how it impacts him. Money doesn't buy happiness but a lack of it sure does seem to cause a lot of disappointment and sadness. It is one thing when the children are young and with Molly all the time, being home-schooled and only seeing other kids when they are scuffing around in the fields and getting covered in mud anyway. It is different when the children start going to Hogwarts and people make comments. Bill says it doesn't matter and Charlie is protected by his brilliant form on the Quidditch pitch. By the time Percy is at school though the robes are more worn and his cheeks go pink with anger and shame when Arthur gets the truth out of him over the summer. Guilt ebbs away at Arthur's insides and he worries he is failing his family and is all the things people say about him. 

No man should feel as relieved as Arthur does when Bill and then Charlie move out. It gets a little easier for a while. School fees are always looming though and money is never far from the family's minds. By the time Ginny is at school they have gone so long without properly communicating that Arthur doesn't know how to fix it. He isn't even sure he wants to. He doesn't know how to talk to Molly anymore and then there is war and death and conversations are about things far bigger than them anyway. They appear to talk but they never talk about themselves. It is always about whether the children should be told this or kept away from that. They care for each other and they love each other but it has been a long time since they were truly in love. He wonders if the first war pushed them to get married and start a family too fast. Maybe things would have been different if he had more time to get the house together and save more money and get to really know Molly as an adult woman before she was a young mother. He can't know that though and really there is no point in wondering but he struggles to shut out those thoughts at night. 

Arthur loves his children. They are his riches and his jewels and for him he stays and says nothing. They have not been a proper couple for years but they have lived through many difficult years where others did not. He has been lucky and no one has a perfect life. If he left he would live in a tiny flat which would be cold upon his return from work and filled with silence. It is easier to stay.


End file.
